Yes hello tomorrow is the start of exams?!?! oooo panic. even tho i dun show it. But believe me i AM panicING. Did i study for it? Yes i did. Do i noe wat i was studying about? yes. Do i noe how to answer de real thing? that i cannot answer. Im not sure okaay.

To grlfs: stop fighting already okay. Yes i noe u not happy wif each other but i noe u guys stil care for one another :] yes mirah you're absoulutely right. i'll jus stop here cos i do not want to be de one ppl will say create story. Yes mirah you're right again. hahah. Ok but watever it is i am always right here ready to listen to all yr probs. regardless of watever it is.

:]]
and you plss _____

Yes and heyloo. And yes i do not noe why the hell am i so addicted with brown this few days. heh god noes. And yes again, now is like 248 AM and im up and fresh. I soooo wan to go to sleep but i cant close my eyes. Its jus opens back. YEs this is the prob if you hav extremely humongus eyes. heh 0_0 look like me? of course not. Im uglier den dat. haH! im so tired to update bout today but lemme jus keep it short okay. K today i bake cake and laugh alot. Dats alll. And my cake tasted like choc brownies instead of an actual cake. cool huh? not. Reason being dat we added to many coco flavouring heeeee. Greedy ppl. What to doooo. So yes tried to catch wif A maths but simply cannot. All i see are numbers. Nothing reli makes sense. Damn it. How the fuck am i suppose to study if i dunno and dere's reli like no one here who can help me. how stressful can this be??

Lyn tkmo step gerek ehh nk blaja mlm srg2 tapi tk tau ape2 pon -_-

Nvm im trying my best to make all this numbers to make sense to me. I still cant undrstand that Matrice thing. Shudnt hav been absent on tues. I missed a whole lot of lessons that has gd values. damn it -_-

Eh can someone pls help put me to sleep. I tot by updating i could get sleepier but uh unfortunately no -_- how sleepening is dat? erm? Funny how my blogskin is all bout sleeping and slacking and all that but erm wat im doin rite now is totaly de opposite :] heeee.

Eh dats it i had enuf im goin to sleep rite this instance no matter wat!
-_-

btw so sorri to grlf anis dat her plans hav been ruined today. read yr blog and im sorri on behalf of whoever who did dat. Dun sad2 okay..mayb i can go nxt time :]]]

And I loved you more than you'll ever know

Yes and its been some time since ive updated. the usual reasons. what else would it be. Help pls. here and dere. dere is always misunderstandings and all. K i'll stop it on here. i do not one to elaborate anymore. muahahahah fine the truth is im already tired of all this laaaaaaaa. Ok? ok. Soooo ok lemme jus be truthful here ok. I HAD ENOUGH OF AEM!!!!! UNDERSTAND???? I DUN GET EXTRA POINTS FOR IT ANYWAY AND FURTHER MORE THIS EFFING THING IS CAUSING MORE PROBLEMS!!!! DON WAN AAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMM. hah.

TO Mr Codeiro and the M.O.E;
I Lyn Hanis Bte Rezuan Of Class 3B from Teck Whye Secondary had enough of AEM module. I feel that this module is pulling me down instead of helping me with my studies. I may be transfered to N.A next year and i do not think that AEM can help me with it. I feel that AEM is of no use to me. I do not bother whether it is a fucking lifeskill or something i just do not want it anymore. I hereby wish that you can take away the grant and revoke me from AEM.

Thank you for your understanding and sincere listening;

Yours Sincerely,
Lyn Hanis

OK back to today. Had Mly dance for awhile hahah i love the new dance its kinda fun and erm FUn?! oh and btw had speech presentation today and ppl said dat i had too many "ERMS" erm? hah ok fine mayb cos im tinking? sori grlfs for doing such a horrible job at it.

oh ya and this morning almost got hit by a car but Helmi saved me. hahah its not that heroic actualli. Basically i was listening too loud on the Mp3 and erm he jus pulled me by my arm and to safety. erm?! hahah thx helmi hahahaha. k fine laen kali aku tk dgr kuat sgt okay..

CupiD -_-

Look its 6.55am and im still here -_- what is the meaning of this bitch? ooohooo. dere's a reason okeh. Im actuali having indigestion :] why the fuck am i so happy bout this? hahah cos i get to go to school late :] muahahah. Ok 2 more days to public concert including today but excluding friday. Of course la!

Ok mayb sum of you might wonder y the hell is this post in red? ahah! The reason is simple, cosss i wan to say sumthing important la. duhhh.. obviously if sumone wans to put up a notice it will b in like red so that ppl will take note?! Okeh bck to topic

I dun noe if im over it or not. Even tho if i am over than this new person. Like we oni talked once. msged hi once. Laughed once, joked once. its all oni one time. I duno... i jus hate myself for falling so often. I do not noe wat attracts me. but wat i noe is dat his nice too. but youre nice too. But his not like you. He respects my thoughts. And he suports it. You. u support but den u go away and disappear and den come bck and talk to me like nothing is wrong. U've got a gf already. dun tell ppl dat yr feelings come bck but den after dat u run and oni come bck wen money is in de picture. And den you. I duno... if u disapper cos mayb i duno find sumone nicer or preetier? hah! nvm dats common for me. ppl always leave me cos im ugly and stupid. I dun even hav any nice things dat i can boast about. Im in de verge of dropping to N.A nxt year if i dun buck up. i duno if its like or love. I hope its neither. But im certain dere's a like :] and YOU. i duno wat if i postpone it first. I tink its better if u go out wif yr gf okeh. Plus i bet she's much preetier den me. so go on ahead.

Cup____

:]]]] figure dat out! muahahaha

Grlf Meeerah and Juliet La Celeste:
Ladies. thx for de support and understanding and im sori tho that i hav brought in the both of you into this matter. I never meant to cos i noe i hav pressurized the both of you alot. Sorri plsss. Giv me sumtime to think it over. But how hard it is to forget bout this matter. The only i ever had, unlike any other. Im jus trying to get by. But thx anywhr.If i had put pressure or cos any probs on you im sori.

To grlf anis too. Thx for all yr cares and concern. ily all

pls undrstand that i need alot of time for this. plus exams are coming thank you.

From Lyn Hanis.
de bottom of my heart

And I don't know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing's real
Until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me

Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
But I know it's never really over

And I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time

Three months and I'm still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know
It's never really over, no

Wake up

Three months and I'm still standing here
Three months and I'm getting better yeah

Three months and I still am
Three months and it's still harder now

Three months I've been living here without you now
Three months yeah, three months

Three months and I'm still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up

Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

Since yesterday night... it has been coming out over and over again. I cant stop it. Even if i did i get hiccups. It hurts more here than there. I dunno wat else to say. No matter wat i do it dosent happen. Mayb its fated but i duno why i can never accept it. Reasons? can never figure it out. My eyes? all swollened up. It looks like a fishball plus de fact that its already big -_- Why do u keep repeating this to me. If u wan to go just go dun stay and den go. Go and go forever. If u wan to stay since dere's no one else for u den dun. it may not mean anything at all for you but it means a hell load to me. it never came out so much till this past 2 days. i wudnt want to say dats it all yr fault. Some comes from you yet some comes from ppl who dun even noe dey hurt ppl. I duno why all this yrs i didnt feel like this. Now i reli feel unwanted useless ugly stupid extra and everything else. do u tink that way. I dun even noe if u ever even tink of me at least for a second in yr life. Mayb it was never meant to be. But y does it even hav to happen?

Two days. didnt stop
this hurts more den getting beaten up;

Last post was very intimate but hell shit im not gonna bother bout it anymore. If dey dun want to care den dats fine wif me here. Jus as long u dun kill me. I hav lots of things to be fufilled or goals to achieve and exams to pass and a life to live. Wats left of it anyway. Shit hokay. But anyways. Past few days? so and so. Oooo plus i got a one month leave frm work! yes bebeh! wooohoooo! EH. not for fun okay. Exams heylooo? Another thing to deliberate. Yes big prob. Dun ask why. Basically i jus cant undrstand ALL my subs. Okay okay lemme make this short and simple. I never stopped having probs. Hahah funny right? jus wen u thought dat u settled one.... den another comes in. ohhhh. How ironic. YEs and im not saying little2 problems. But big BIG probs? want to noe? dun kpo. Thank you.

Dh lah aku tk nk post uh ckp2 psl bende2 niee. nant ader yg nie ader ckp tu -_-
so i'll jus save the shit and move on.

Ok im just saying wat i feel dats it okay? its not sentimental or sumthing.
ok? ya ok. Alaaaaa dats it laaa. Penat laarrr


8 times to be precise. mayb one more
repeating what u did;
My probs are piling up one by one.

What are you doing? Explain. dont toy ard wif me.
i may b ugly but i have feelings

Sometimes i do wonder. Why does everyone turn what i say into something else?! I mean its like. Wen i say this. This person will pass to another person a diff thing. Like hello? who do you tink i am? A main course for attention seeking or trouble? Its like. Okayy i noe u need the attention and you want like some kind of comotion so that the other person can notice you. Yess i noe but dont use ME as your tool okay. Who the fuck do you tink i am? Im not yr doll or yr asshole or something. Im me. Im a human being an actual living thing. I breathe the same thing you do. I eat what you eat and same for everything else. Shit man. Dont you consider the fact that i had enuf of all the shit u do?! I absolutely had enuf of being yr fucking dummy. The one who have to tolerate all the shit so that YOU can have the limelight and the like name or watever. All this time i thought u were helping but actually you were the one who puts more oil in the fire. Shit man you. Why?! are you jealous that i hav a job and u dont? and that now i hav money and i actually enjoyed working?! Listen here. YOU have all you want and even more. You already have a future ahead of you and infact a bright one. You graduated perfectly and wat? ppl here actually giv you more den u need. Eh pls i never ever complained when you got the laptop when in the first place THAT MONEY IS FOR MY PIANO! AND THAT I HAD TO STOP MY PIANO CLASSES BCOS U NEEDED THE MONEY FOR SCHOOL!!! Pls laaa u have everything already. Mayb its not all u want but dun u tink i hadnt got anything? My studies are downhill from whr im standing now. And wat? My mp3 is actually a found one. My hp is passed down from ppl. And its broken. You hav a psp. U hav a ipod nano. U hav good choices of wardrobe ppl here giv u more money den u need. u are getting a new hp soon. Ppl here actualli love you. U hav degree. U hav a place in the university. Ppl here are even willing to send you to NYC. U hav a relationship. and she loves you very much i can tell. What else? im sure there is more that u hav den me that i cant recall. I dun want to say anymore. This is the first and last im gonna post about you and stop dere. And yes one more thing. U never ever get yr heartbroken and you never hav to sit one corner and see that the person whom you love so much get on wif another person. U never had yr hopes shattered. U never hav to sit one corner and see that there are other ppl that hav more than you and that you hav to work so hard to get it. You never had to wait for someone for at approx 2yr 7 months and the fact that u still hav to wait. y? bcos u cant 4get this person. U never cried yr eyes out bcos u hav a hell lot of probs. U never ever get criticise for yr looks. and you never hav to worry that u won get enuf sleep cos u noe u hav no probs to tink off. So dont u tink u had enuf already?

All i want now is for all of YOU to leave me alone and let me by my own. I am better off without ANY of you. Would u even care if i gone missing one day? The fact that i actually took off and be on my own on the streets? The fact that wen i reach 21 will u care? will u?

Shit ass. How ironic of u to say that u cared

Past few days? yes it has been extremely suckish and watever it is you call it. Its just horrble and excruciating -_- ok fine. I mean its like. wats even here to update. Absolutely. Ok lemme jus say. I cant stop thinking. My head hurts. Its like think think think -_- shit laaa i dun want to tink anymore. Yes and wif ppl taking my money. FUCK sia! Someone help me to stop thinking Thx

"GET OVER IT" see this? ive been trying to get this msg across my mind my heart my life and everything. But its like it cant b done. wif u always goin away and coming bck. DO u tink its dat easy for me? NO its not okay. Just do this one fcuking simple thing for me? plsss?! Lemme get it clear. Its either u stay or u go. Yes im not over it. y?? got prob wif dat???

OK listen up! frens are everything. u dun noe how it mean oni wen u start loosing den u noe. okay that besides my point. Come ladies all of u are frens. cant u jus sort things out?! while a few of u are busy tinking of yr feelings and not others u are actuali hurting de other one. yes i noe u are down and u are in this emotional state whereby u feel dat yr feelings are de only important thing rite now cos u feel dat its now the other's time to undrstand yr feelings. Okay i noe how u feel. but do u noe dat u are actuali hurting her oso?! so now its like both of u are hurt and this and than that?! come on girls. i noe u girls care bout ppl's feelings and that rite now u are hurt. but why cant u jus settle dwn and talk and POUR OUT YR FEELINGS AND DO NOT KEEP ANYTHING BEHIND. see these capital words; it means dat this is de part where its a MUST to do if u girls ever one to hav peace and not to hav yr feelings hurt by each other. cos u noe that the other noe's how u feel. undrstand? pls dun fight grlfs. i love both of u in fact de rest of us all love u. so why cant u love each other. if u tink dat she dosent undrstand u, den y dun u tell her bout wat u tink dat she dosent undrstand. and u, listen to her and tell her that she has hurt u by jus telling u off like dat and dat she shud hav care abit more and tell u in a nicer way.ok? ya ok. and do u noe dat while both of u are quarelling... dere is a much more serious matter den dat?!. dunno rite.... seee fight and fight. den neglect the other. if u say den she neglects u. budden by actualli doing this. u are actualli neglecting anothers feelings. Now i wan u to settle wif u this instance! Im serious. come girls. dun u feel dat u actuali lost a part of yrself by doing this? noe y? cos yr frens are actuali another part of u. de part dat cares.

PS: dun feel dwn. i love every single one of u to death and nothing can compare to u ladies. and im sorri i did this okay. but i needed to get this msg across. plssss dun fight. and u. u are cute. okay? ok.